


Control of any given situation is an illusion

by transfixme_quite



Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-20
Updated: 2015-07-20
Packaged: 2018-04-10 08:00:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 606
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4383734
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/transfixme_quite/pseuds/transfixme_quite
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fitz's internal stream of consciousness when Mack gets possessed in the underground city.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Control of any given situation is an illusion

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this shortly after said episode aired but never posted it because I was being angsty myself. I tweaked it a bit and I'm happy now. Sometimes, you just have to angst.

The only other time Fitz had felt what he's feeling right now was when he watched Ward disengage the pod to let it fall into the ocean. It was less of a sense of betrayal, and something more complicated, much deeper. More fright than he'd be able to express even before... before...

Helpless. That was it. Fitz could pretty much solve any problem handed to him, given the proper tools and time, but this was completely out of his scope. Helpless even seemed too weak of a word. Fitz didn’t like feeling out of control, which accounted for so many aspects of who he was as a person. Which explained why he was feeling so useless and out of place since the incident. It explains why Fitz is fighting both pain and heartache to hold his weapon steady.

All Fitz can see are those dark, bloodshot, blank eyes staring through him, and the barrel of the gun in his own hands pointed at the man who was his friend, the man he was growing to love, probably. Probably. He definitely doesn't have time to think about it right now. He's using his words, he's pleading, and he sees a glimpse in Mack, something that makes him believe he can snap him out of it, and Fitz remembers he didn't see that in Ward, even as they fell away and out, Ward watching them coolly with what could be read as a disappointed face but he hit that button, he let them fall, and Fitz pleads again "Please don't make me do this" because yes, he does love Mack, even if he has to admit it here and now because he's about to lose him.

They stare at each other for what seems like an eternity, and Fitz is vaguely aware of Coulson hanging on to Jemma for her life, and Bobbi stirring in the background with her batons, but really, it's just him and Mack. He hadn't even gotten to tell him he wanted to work in the garage with him. He imagines Mack would have been thrilled, but also suggest Fitz stay in the lab. Mack seemed to love Fitz's company, but he wasn't a selfish man. He knew how much Jemma meant to Fitz, and wanted to see them work things out. A tear trickles down Fitz's cheek, realising he's already thinking about Mack in the past tense.

It's inevitable.

Coulson yells for Fitz to shoot, and Bobbi attacks from behind, and it all happens so fast that Fitz missed the moment Mack began to charge at him. Mack didn't make the choice to leave him, and that probably hurt worse than the last times Fitz got abandoned.

The world is in slow motion as Mack falls into that one hundred foot deep chasm, the sound of the crunch of the man Fitz thought was invincible because of his mass and height and selfless heart echoing deeper and longer than anyone desired.

"That wasn't Mack!" Coulson screams, and Fitz just stares into the darkness, at the barely lit silhouette lying still on the ground, trying to comprehend how that was true.

He could see him. Mack was still there. That was Mack. Fitz makes a silent promise to come back for him, to help him, to free him, to save him. Mack was the only one who didn't give up on him, and he'd be damned if he was going to leave Mack there, locked up with whatever it was that hurt him in the first place, alone, and in the dark, the thing Mack said just moments ago that he was scared of.


End file.
